There Has To Be More
26 Sep 2010 2 Comments
There are so many thoughts racing through my mind and so many things I experience it is hard to even know where to begin. God has been growing my heart in big ways throughout my time here. I can’t put into the words the way He has been working in me. God has been filling me with a passion for orphans for years now. I entered graduate school for counseling knowing God could use these skills to reach orphans. Now I am discovering I have a desire to do so much more than counsel. I know that counseling is very important and can make a difference in the lives of people, but I am struggling with the limitations I feel as a counselor. I get to see a child once a week for about an hour. I can talk with them through their feelings and what they can do to cope with these feelings. I can create a place for the children to feel safe and comfortable, to feel like someone is listening and cares for them, but after the session is over I am sending them right back into the place that is causing their problems. Some children are orphaned and others have parents but are still faced with poverty, some are sexually abused in their unsafe neighborhoods. I can counsel them, but I am finding this deep desire to do so much more than counsel. I want to help provide for their basic needs. To provide food for them, so they don’t have to worry about where their next meal is going to come from. I want to provide a safe place for them to go everyday after school, a place they can learn, have fun, and be a kid. I want to provide not only for their emotional needs, but their physical and spiritual ones as well.
I spent this week at a conference about walking with wounded children. I spent the week refreshed in basic counseling skills, as well as learning some new ones. At the end of the week we spent a weekend at a campsite with vulnerable children from a local shack settlement. Each of the individuals at the conference were appointed two children that would be their children for the week. I had two boys assigned to me. I was reminded of how often I take things for granted. These children were so excited to bathe, that is all they talked about. They ate so much of the food, I have no idea where they fit it all in. I counseled them, played with them, walked with them, served them food, tucked them in at night, and even told them a bedtime story. I was able to get a glimpse of providing for children beyond counseling. Both of my boys’ life stories greatly impacted me. The last day they kept telling me they didn’t want to leave, they didn’t want to go home. We had provided a safe place for them, fed them, and took care of them and now they didn’t want to leave. I felt hopeless once again. I had been able to provide for them for a weekend, but then had to send them back into their hard living situation.
Although I often feel hopeless, I know in God there is hope. After hearing the children’s story this weekend, I also saw them praising God, singing loudly to him with their eyes closed. These children may have horrible living situations, but somehow they have still believed in God, and are experiencing his love. I want to be someone who God can use to bring his love, his hope, and his peace. I want to believe God to do mighty things to help these children, and my hope is he will use me in his process.
